Thank you for your positive comment, Raya. Well done! Gentleness, modesty and good behavior. My father said to me many times to go out from this house but i am here for my mother. Dear Sister, please, make dua for me and for my imaan. Assalamalikum, please advise me on what is best. . Because she wont let you be until you do and then she has the joy of knowing you are the one in the wrong. What if their behavior induces so much hatred in you and you just cant stand being with them? Assalamoalaikum sister sheima thats a wonderful article I appreciate your work and thank you so much for sharing. Yes, I agree with you that mental abuse can be just as hurtful as physical abuse. My father didnt say anything. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. May Allah bless you for trying to follow Islam. Wa iyaa kum. What can I do about my situation? Please review the coping skills in this article. And your husband and your in-laws seem to be ignorant people! Sometimes the best option is distance. Islam teaches us to use our reason and to gain wisdom from our life experiences. BaarakAllaahu feeki ukhtee! For example: Use your intuition to decide when is the best time to talk about an issue with a family member. My mother says I need to be more understanding of my uncles position. Answer: As-Salaam 'Alaikum sister, May God (swt) bless you and your efforts. Showing kindness to family members is highly rewarded, but at the same time, we need to take care of ourselves so that we can be kind, healthy people in the long-run. This was exactly what I needed right. If so, maybe try to have them talk to each other in a nice way to break this habit. Please Clearly Indicate if Nikah Will be Valid if I Use LIVE VIDEO on Internet. You can respectfully explain to them what they are doing that is disturbing you. Im glad to hear that. Here is a list of ideas. I always believed that Ive been stay patient and calm even if they hurt me or make me feel like their slave. Your husband is lying! 2. I am suffering from narcissistic behavior from my husband currently. My mothers maternal instinct was to defend him. He replied: Give them food what you have for yourself, and clothe them by which you clothe yourself, and do not beat them, and do not revile them. How do you relieve yourself of that feeling? May Allah reward you abundantly I find very helpful. On the other hand, if we dont face reality, this will also may give more room and space for the people who are in authority for example, continue to do what they do, taking advantage and hide behind the Hadith that he should be treated with respect. What should i do if they will make me the prisoner at home? I am student of class 11 . I wonder what your mother thinks you should do. My husband is having an affair with his sisters daughter. Ya rabb forgive those amongst us that are wronged and react by falling into wrongdoing ourselves. Thank you for your comment and for sharing your story. An owner slapped his female slave in the face, and the Prophet ordered him to free her as compensation. 7, Aishah (the Prophets wife) said, The Messenger of Allah never struck a servant of his with his hand, nor did he ever hit a woman. 8, It was asked of the Prophet : What do you say (command) about our wives? My sister in law called my husband and use very bad abusive words and said she will come and will bash me as well . And reasoning and logic doesnt work in this society with parents especially when they are uneducated. If a family member does not respect your boundaries, then you need to have some kind of consequence, such as leaving for some time. thanks for such a great article it really helped me We use cookies on IslamQA to measure visitor stats. U dont know how to behave with ur own family members and u only continue to state the importance of father in islam. Is an Entry Fee at a Charity Event Considered Charity? I agree and I will pray for you and your family. Yet he is this arrogant and illeterate. We sought counseling, by which I mean that I went, and he joined in a handful of times, and then vowed to never go again. Thank you for your positive comment. He Doesn't Listen to Your Opinion Do we still continuing the relationship? 1 Give It Time. He even went so far as to saying FU** your God. Amazing response. On the contrary, resolve that you will do good if the others do good, and if they do a wrong and act unjustly, even then you will not be unfair to them. 2. You have to worry about making sure you're fulfilling your duty towards him. Assalam u alaikum. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Whatever is written in this article I was practicing Alhamdulilah but I was not sure whether I am correct and just for my behavior but after reading this valuable article I have come to know I am doing no wrong with toxic member of my family . May Allah help and bless you always. Why people are so unkind. When he threatened my mother with TALAQ I stepped in and stopped him from doing anything or telling more that would be impossible to take back. I want to your advise please since am not sure what to do. If you are frequently thinking about suicide, please contact immediately a mental health professional! I have a question if a toxic family member is crossing the boundries and harming a person..what will be our reply according to quran and sunnah. JazakaAllah for such a great article. Wa iyaa kum, Tonette. Remember he didnt have an easy life, she said. When i free i am going to researching about Islam . Cultural, social, and economic differences , Your email address will not be published. But what I do hate is the fact that when it came down to it, religion meant more to my family and friends, than me . I look forward to hearing from you. He has a problem with all people on my mothers side due to which meeting them or even speaking to them is not possible. How to Save My Marriage When My Spouse Hates My Parents This being started saidy problems started coz I couldnt bear these taunts and lies. I told u have no respect in my view and u r a stupid person. And we found out recently that my father is mentally ill, and he refuses to take his medication but we give it to him without him knowing , but he is still very abusive to all of us ! Yes, please email me at howtobeahappymuslim@outlook.com. Answer. While the wife thinks, "My husband hates my family, what do I do?", the husband begins to resent or maintain a distance from his in-laws because of the things he has heard about them from his spouse. To what extent can the husband's relatives interfere in his wife's life Eliza didn't know where to turn for help when she found out about her husband's sex addiction. Assalamualaikum. Husband hates family - Muslim American Moms | Forums Part 3 of this article will discuss boundaries and other coping ideas in more detail. No one needs to be understanding of me. I think the best way of resolving this problem is to talk to him, let him know how you feel about all of this. So if we ignore, neglect the reality, how we may improve the real circumstance, and we may just live with falseness. I hope I can get out of this situation soon . Thank you for your kind comment. And Allah Taala ( ) knows best. It really does and I believe distance does also. 15 Signs Your Husband Resents His In-Laws Completely - Bonobology.com can the person who was abuse mentally seek any help? My husband doesn't get on with my daughter (from a previous relationship) who is 9. Your email address will not be published. Husband's sex addiction shook Eliza's life like an 'earthquake' but she Mom & My Husband Hate Each Other: Who to Obey? These things would eat me from inside but it made father very very happy. Islam teaches us to protect ourselves from harm. I have been married for 3 yrs and have a baby, i love my husband dearly BUT we are constantly having arguments, i feel he treats me like a bully, always putting me down, insulting me, and making me feel stupid and inferior. They are the ones with a problem, not you. jazak Allah. My family are Muslim, I don't hate my family. He prays all 5 times in the mosque. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. Him being in denial and them being ok with it is WORSE than being molested. Best thing I learned is trying to please an extreme toxic person is overburdening yourself which will eventually lead you to running yourself down. I know that Islam has an extremely high rank for parents, especially the mother. I live with my father-in-law, mother-in-law, brother-in-law and two sister-in-laws with their kids. Once again Jazakallahu Khairyin. They want to control my life, my time, my dressing even my facial expressions. My husband and I have been married for 2 years and have a little girl who's 3 months, the problem is I don't know if I can love my husband anymore. Setting boundaries/limits is crucial. Thank you, Gul, for your kind words. But they and their wives and my younger brother keep pushing my father about me. Now i want to know what allah and his prophet saw says about these issues and are they sinful by causing me depression and stress or Im sinful that allah orders me to obey them plz answer through authentic hadees. does husband's has any duties towards wife family? - Islam.com Boundaries are limits that you set with other people. He gave me silent treatment for months and stopped eating. May Allah have mercy on us all. If parents are not providing for a childs basic needs and forcing the child to work, then this is against the teachings of Islam. Set and enforce boundaries and keep your distance. My question is # . When someone is behaving unjustly to you, find peace in the truth of the situation, knowing that Allah is enough as a Witness. Allah, by His Mercy, has protected you and covered your sins, and you should keep to that cover and never reveal it, neither to your family nor to anyone else. I really dont care to all the threats he is giving me indirectly. Highly delighted to read the Article Its the voice of so many around who are going through such difficult time .. What to do when other people are forcefully binding you to the toxic relationship . I totally agree with you, Maxie. Our Prophet said, Whosoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him speak good, or keep silent.. Cause stress, anxiety, anger, confusion, exhaustion, and self-doubt in others. Help! My Husband Hates My Family and Won't Try to Fix It. Wa alaikum as salam, Annu. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. They use abuse words for my mother as well just because of me. In todays world we still are facing domestic problems from toxic nembers. I am a moda of one nd i hve been married for close to 5yrs now. The very day late evening he became mad with anger that I his eldest son dont hAve any respect for him and this that stupid things. Maybe that is why he puts you down as well as not being able to respect and appreciate your parents. Let me again tell u my father has a very good salary Alhamdulilla . In this article, we will learn about the characteristics of toxic family members and how to deal with such toxicity in our lives. I must say you have hit the proverbial nail on the head in your article. but what if he or she just want some advice on their problems? My brother absolutely hates me, he has not spoken to be in 5 years to say the least, he gives be deathly stares whenever I accidentally look at . My husband hates my family and now that my newborn is here, he is forbidding them to come to the house to see him. Since stepping onto the path of Islam two years ago things with some members of my family have been difficult. May Allah (swt) bless you for your patience and faith in Him. Alhamdulillah, nice and informatic article sister, really got useful informations, again and again jadakumullah haira. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Thank you for this article. These all are just a few instances of abuse done by our great father to me and my mother. Nov 16, 2012 at 20:54 Also, I would like to add: it's not fard (absolutely required and sinful to not do) for your husband to visit your parents. But he ignored it and didnt say a word nor did he talk to me. Can I travel to Saudi Arabia without a visa and apply for an umrah visa from there? He finalised 2 names in the end. How to Detach Your Husband From His Mother - 7 Simple Tactics - Love Manor Subhan Allah. Onviously I did not and I was subject to mental abuse. Relationship problems are normal and can often be solved by honest communication and problem-solving. As-Salaamu Alaykum Wa Rehamathullai Wa Barakaatuhu Sister. Marriage should improve our Aakhirah, not destroy it. I have dated, I smoke, and wasn't regular with my prayers. Surround yourself with positive people who care about you and support you. I have a question that no body gave us an answer for ! Great article with authentic references from Islamic heritage Jazak Allah Khair. As quoted above, Allah is truly the Witness of all things. Ameen. Im the youngest in the family and in our country we have no other family members so i always feel desperately lonely and isolated at home as i dont have someone other than my parents to talk to or even just hang out with. Because of their unwillingness to take responsibility, it is difficult to repair relationships with them. Jazakillah khairan for this wonderful piece. 2. Yes, we do have duties to our parents but if we are facing toxic parents we need to find a way to protect ourselves from losing our mental health. Take care of yourself by making dua to Allah , exercising, and expressing your feelings to a caring person. But now we grow up , so no more beating even though he tries,but the cursing and all other things has gone even worse, Thank you for your comment. Thank you for your kind words. Allaah SwT has provided me through you dear sister. I only partially agreed to this marriage because of the intense psychological pressure from my family. Thank you for your comment. Context and value of what each party is requesting of you must be considered in your decisions. Wa iyakum dear SSaima. Need advice. I (22M) am beginning to hate my mother. : r/islam - Reddit You need to figure out what underlying issues exist in the marriage and what is being done to fix them. Salaam Waasafa, thank you for your kind comment. We are s depressed. And I feel really guilty saying something like me disliking my mother and am coming close to outright despising her. The aim of this is to let him notice his misdoings of not being the husband for you - instead, for his mom. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. Wa alaikum as salam AFK, thank you for your kind words. I guess if u luv some1 u wanna mke dat person hapi. Yes he provides for the family sufficiently bit its not money with which we have a problem. They believe theyre always right because they are the elders. Ive become the bad person in the family for refusing to be anywhere where my uncle is. This is exactly what I am going through. They say I am not a caring daughter but nobody cares about me or what I want. Thank you for your comment, Hasib. Praying you have found peace InshaAllah and it will give me hope that things will change for the better! gawaher.com since 2002 Partially to do with my upbringing and partially to do with family history. My family hates my husband and it's stressing me out Not because I was angry with them but because I needed to protect myself. I hope that your living situation will improve in shaa Allah. Please guide me what to do, This is soooo helpful may Allah increase you in knowledge and grant us all Jannatul Firdaus Jazakillahu Khairan. Asalam alaykum, I'm a teenage girl living with 5 brothers. And the one time she requested this is what has happened. My husband hates me and is cruel to me - IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice This makes me feel guilty and ashamed that i am a burden to them, but my husband cant even help me. Thank you so much for your encouraging comment. How to cope is complicated because every situation is unique. Thank you for your kind comment. But if i am honest with myself, it has always been this way. He said I dont care for what he feels and that I dont respect his age and experience in life. He called my mother to KSA where he lives and works, and when my sister requested for a new bed since the one shes sleeping on was very hard and caused her backache he became so angrry on her amd blamed even this on my mother that she has not raised my sister properly. I told him that i was in dire need of them and was genuinely crying in front of him. Any mistake or oversight on my part is seen as something intentional. I understand that you are staying in the home to help your mother. I am 29 years old, male and have been living with my father since 4 Years now. It was such amazing timing. I tried to stay patient but this article showed me the total guidance. One question to ask yourself is, Is this relationship harming me more than benefiting me? If the relationship is more harmful, it may be toxic. This is a difficult situation and my only sincere advice is to pray Istikhara prayer and Tahajjud prayers a lot and wait for Allah (swt) to open a door/give some guidance as to what choice to make. Spend time with them separately and let your spouse and your parents know you love them but are not getting in the middle to play peace maker. And that was my decision given my mom's mental health. I wish you the best and may Allah bless you for your struggles for His sake. I agree that its sad that so many of us are tested by our family members. The purpose of marriage is not oppression; ask yourself how you see your family life in five years. 13 February, 2022 In this counseling answer: I would like you to keep in mind that while it is ok to feel upset and angry, self-harming behavior would never be the right response. I (28F) come from a different lifestyle background as my husband (34M). The only time they are not abusing me is when I do exactly what they tell me to do. Salamualikum , We arent supposed to even tell UFFF to our parents but I yelled at him and it felt good. Jazakallaahu khairan for the valuable thoughts and steps. I mean does he do this in front of them? Well all my afamily were happy a family nd so was my father. It may seem unusual and wrong but it truly exists in this world especially in Pakistan. As I have been told so many times. This is one of my laws, and he, who loves my laws verily, loves me. 5. I hate my family | IslamicAnswers.com: Islamic Advice He married me thinking my family is from US and thought he will get everything and it is not necessary to work. Im trying to forget as I have a small baby that I need to look after but things are really eating me inside and I feel like I cant protect my self . It hurts to know that sometimes you stop trying and are exhausted and hurt so their abusive comments eventually come true. You should certainly not put yourself in an environment of abuse. Passive aggressive (Passive aggression is non-verbal aggression that manifests in negative behavior. Parents are responsible for providing the basic necessities to their children. Perhaps keep some distance if you can while still showing your mother respect and kindness. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. If their behavior induces so much hatred in you, then thats a sign that you need to take care of yourself more. Sahih Al-Bukhari Book 61 Hadith 530, As for your question about whether your dream is from Allah (swt), Sheikh Bilal Philips gave a great lecture about dreams in Islam, and in it he said that all dreams are blessings from Allah (swt) except the dreams that are clearly from Shaytan (they make you feel bad). Few of my relatives have bad intentions towards our success and wealth and even we are going from a great loss of money but they dont understand and always try to take our money somehow. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other. The worst part is he is a very pious man. Our work places are nearby so we share a house. May allah ease the pain and sorrows that we are all facing and help us to remain strong so that we may continue to call upon him. I hate my husband now. If he tries to digest your feelings, then you can speak with him directly and settle this issue. Do I have to Tell My Future Husband About My Sinful Past? You can tell family members what kind of behaviors you will not accept from them. Alhamdulillah Dear Sister Sheima, a great article. If He is Financially irresponsible. Married couples are ment to help each other remind him that Allah says oppression is worse then murder.
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