Thank you everyone who has shared their situation on this forum. Sometimes it seems easier to just go along day by day in quiet misery, like a robot, doing the routine of cooking, cleaning, living together but separately. its my humble request that u inform me. Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. We make dua, pray to Allah and have tried many ways, even medical ones, but nothing has changed. Just lay there let your husband do his business and then be patient. My husband does not love me.. What should i do? Patients with Bipolar Disorder suffer mood extremes. he lives in Uk and i am in pakistan. If you choose not to avail yourself of it, that's up to you. - 1. Can I divorce my husband without a valid reason? Or I must talk to him 24/7 or else he gets hurt. This is not breaking newsthis happens likely thousands of times per day, but the. My husband and I started talking a few days ago. I tried hard to fall in love with him when i got engaged but everytime I tried, I would get so cold response that it would take me 10 steps back. Nothing will ever improve this way, and one would, indeed, remain miserable until he or she died. Plus they is people whos husband died what do they do? Turn to Allah for all of your problems and give charity, asking Allah to change his desires. As usual, there is no easy answer. But based from your post, you stated that you did Love him when you first get married right? I live in Europe and he's in Pakistan and we've been married for almost 1 years and he's too bossy. It is a non-Muslim country, and my city does not have much Muslims. Or the woman could try to love her husband again rather than being devoid of all feeling. onto other poor women! I want to be surprising. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. She also has desires and the rights of freedom and life. The answer is: no, unless she is the one who started the separation and he is keeping away from her because of it, and she did not apologize but prolonged the separation. 3. Man has to care for her and her desires. Yes, I too have had to go through a lot of counseling and I had actually forgotten how despairing my situation was until you recently responded to my post. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". It is hard to obey my husband. You dont have to stay with him. May Allah bless you and give you patience and the wisdom to deal with this situation in the best way. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. It depends on whether he is good to you or not. The cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional". I want to divorce. Also, the questions are handled i the order receive, but they usually move through quickly. My wife dosent love me anymore - IslamQA He never really seemed interested in me, but he impressed me greatly with his sense of humor and general personality. He wants me to wear cloths that Im not comfortable in. When you are bonded, he wont want to disappoint or hurt you. Alhamdulillah I got married last year and love my husband very very much. In all this time there were so family clashes and i was living at my parents house, he never supported me financially. His parents ask me to be quite and do exactly as he asks me to do. I can't even be ME to him. 15 October, 2021 Q Assalamu alaikum, I had an arranged marriage to my cousin in Pakistan when I was 17. I don't think telling your husband about your sexual past is going to do any one any good. Just catch her hands, go sit on a sofa and start the conversation regarding your problems. Of course, the first place to look is to yourself, to see if you are doing what a good Muslim woman should do. This is such a huge, general question that it is difficult to know where to begin. Is this something that he has said directly to you, or are you inferring it from his behavior? This can affect a man's attitude towards his wife. May Allah accept your repentance. After marriage he completed changed, he controls everything and whenever I say No to him he gets mad and threaten me that Allah doesn't like women who disobey their husbands. Signs He Doesn't Love You Enough & What To Do, According To 10 Women Mehraj, please register and write your question as a separate post and we will answer you in turn, thank you. She should be available for him sexually, as this is a great need for men and it affects their ability to work effectively if they are stressed due to a lack of marital intimacy. Jks. When the brains production of neurotransmitters such as serotonin, GABA, dopamine and norepenephrine is affected, mood swings result. Get a medical check up to she if she is mentally stable. tell him of how you dont want to fight and how you want things the way they were before, tell him that you want him to make you feel 'sexy' and 'excited' like you did before( men take note of what arouses their women, and it becomes a sub-conscious response to repeat the words or behaviour over time). So you fight with him alot and all you are doing is taking this 'low' of the marriage and pushing it further down, and he also reacts to these vibes and so the atmosphere is hostile inside your household. These are caused by hormonal transitions. Insha'Allah you can counsel others on how to get out of abusive situations. I don't know if devil satan whispers to me. They posted things on social media that made my daughter feel bad. 5. If that fails, simply leave the house. If he has an occasion to feel delighted, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it. [Muslim] May Allah rewards you for your patience and helps you through this. He doesn't bother at all. I feel really depressed, sad and angry with my husband. Dont be scared think you will make a mistake divorcing him. I don't know. He was always eager to talk to me where In my mind I just wanted to ignore him. So what's happened now r u happy? https://seekersguidance.org/answers/general-counsel/my-husband-and-i-barely-have-marital-intimacy-what-do-i-do/ This is not the way that a dynamic person is supposed to live life, though. What should I do?? Make your wife spit out her problems whatever it maybe and she must not sit silent and act like evrything is fine when you are clearly a victim now. You need to nurture the relationship with your husband. Email her at. His condition may have nothing to do with his love for you. Please guide me. By this, I am asking if you both pray the five prayers and fast as you should, and avoid the major sins such as fornication, drinking, and the like. Certain medications can cause temporary mood swings, such as hormone replacement therapy. Have a question? O our Lord, who is above all things sacred and exalted, all praise is Yours for what you decree. Since you only gave a one-line question, I would have answered with one line: "It depends.". When I was 16 years old I wasn't the best behaved person and my dad just wanted me to get married because he thought a child is like furniture and when it gets damaged u quickly sell it basically but I can't say my marriage was arranged I felt like I was such a burden and my dad hated me at the time so I said yes to the first proposal I got which was someone my parents loved and wanted me to marry so I said yes to finally do something to make my dad happy and proud of me, I had my first baby when I was 16 years old I couldn't finish school my husband before marriage was so awesome and even now he is an amazing guy to Allah swt he prays and he so strong in his seen but we will never share the bond and the love a couple on live should feel, after a few years I had another baby and another and another I have four boys now alhamdulilah and my dad till now thinks he did the best thing for me coz I smile every time I see my parents to make them happy but I'm not happy from my heart I am very very different to my husband but I don't think live is the only important thing in life sister trust me love fades anykneu marry will eventually change this is natural I'm lucky Allah swt has given me a brain that makes me understand this so I don't think of divorce ever because I am able to understand there is never true happiness in this world I understand that I could have married the live of my life and he wud eventually change trust. As usual, there is no easy answer. Estrogen influences theproduction of serotonin, the mood regulatingneurotransmitter. Is he fulfilling his duties to you? I'm afraid I might sin. I have been spreading lies about my father, saying he abused me.how do I repent? He simply married you for sponsorship, since he is keep asking you visa. was it an arranged marriage or a love one? These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously. Make it a point to highlight and validate the behaviors they do well instead of focusing on what they don't do. http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/wp-login.php?action=register. Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) Sorry I made mistakes in the previously post as I was typing from my phone interenet. He always asks me about his visa or asks me money. He would hurt anyone for his benefit And he knows how not to take the blame on him. Mild to severe mood swings can occur depending on the location of the brain tumorwithin the brain. my wife doesnt allow me to sleep with her anymore is this permitted and how long when you dont sleep together your nikkah is ended please reply back jazaq allah. I give you a little example, one day after work I was eating and he told me to stop eating and when I asked why he told me to just obey him or I should never put on weight otherwise he will go to other women. If the first Imam you see refuses to grant your khulah, find another and another until you get it. My husband had a lovely long beard before he left the job but because he had to get a job where he cant have one he has shaved it all off. That way we can give it our full attention. 13 February, 2022 In this counseling answer: Your disappointment is completely understandable, and also your desire to live in a happy, fulfilling marriage. You can make a practice of these three approaches to persevere: detachment focusing on healing yourself seeking therapy as a couple or on your own Staying in an unhappy marriage is a very. I've Failed to Make My Husband Love Me | About Islam Dementia is marked by rapid mood swings along with diminished thinking abilities along with reduced capacity for action. Be strong if you have Allah you don't need no body. My Husband Doesn't Love Me - 5 Things You Can Do About It There is no escaping that fact. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. I have even suggested counciling to him he won't go for it wher as I have been for counciling and I was advised to think of the safety about me and my children's but I've still tuck no action I'm not a strong person to take any actions I feel I have no support but it's not fair on my kids at all I can never trust my husband at all out communication still poor I try putting sex off as much as I can I don't want him touching me I feel dirty. Are you both practicing Muslims? My husband does not tell me his loves me or does not care for me in a way like to support me to make me feel happy. If you feel suicidal, please call the helpline! Just lay there and pretend you are somewhere else and it will be over in 2 minutes. And I'm curious, how was your relationship with him like before you were married? , Allaahumma ihdini feeman hadayt I read your title and thought it was a forced/arranged marriage which you didnt agree to, and so decided to let others post in such matters, however after reading through your post i believe i can help you regain that love insha'Allah. That he doesn't feel the need to explain. Thanks Allah for this vet helpful website may Allah swt rewards u Ameen, Alhumdulilah! Friends porn addiction, how do I help her? May Allah bless you and give you patience and the wisdom to deal with this situation in the best way. Abandoning salat will only send you and your wife to hell. are you sure your not playing joke on me? Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn't Love You | About Islam I won't practice as a muslimah , I would be astray from the straight path. It does not store any personal data. He has no feelings, no remorse, no guilt, nor any sense of responsibility for his actions towards you. Sleeveless, jeans, no dupata, short pants, deep necks. Cillian Murphy on Oppenheimer, sex scenes and self-doubt: 'I'm stubborn If she is persistent with no reason, then you may divorce her if you wish. They also have in-person classes in Canada. What exactly you expect your husband to do to make you feel loved? Would buy me clothes and fulfill my necessities. (read more about this in the link above) Provide POSITIVE FEEDBACK. Answer Nasira S. Abdul-Aleem 19 October, 2017 JakaAllah khairu for respond , readers. I need help. i dont like my husband before marriage and still i dont like him.. Its not over til the Trumpet is Blown Sin and Repentance in Islam, The Sin of Fornication and Adultery Part 1, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 2, The Sin of Adultery and Fornication Part 3. What is islam ruling on relationship between Husband and Wife. Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. "he doesn't make you feel good about yourself, he loves you so much?" But when we get married everything is chnaged with in 6 months..he dnt let me work even though we both live alone in dehli..no in laws here n there is no interferance or attachment to inlaws with me or with my husband toono family relation i could see between anyone in his familymy husband dnt hv tym for love for outing for romance not even sex..frm last 2yrs m putting effort every single day even though my own feelings are dead but m trying to keep this marriage strong becoz i rly dream so much for us..he doesnt touch me from last 7months n when i tell him this problem he said i dnt luk charming anymore..after our marrige i went through some harmonal issues i get sick becoz that harmonal imbalance.since than i work so hard for my health,looks,weightbut i dnt knw wat he wanthe dnt want kids either..if i ask to plan a baby then he got angry.m very joyfull person n he is just opposite even though some tym i m talking to him n laughing by my ownself n he is kept busy with his phnthe priority is money n work for himi scarifies my 3yrs for this relation n dnt work becoz he needs me but when i needs him he is nvr here,if i discusss he laughed n said u r mad got to a psychatrist u need it.. u r dreamer i cnt be ur dream manwat i rly ask him for only his time n attention..but he nvr notice my depression..i really dnt hv any sexual feelings for him now..not even i want him to touch mei still want to keep this maariage but nothing will go like in the begginning..wat should i do..m thinking to find out a job for me n leave his house.. becoz i hv done everything discussions,romance,crying infront of him,everything u suggest in ur above post to other sisters..m really goung through so much plz help me i dnt want to be mad in real Hi I know this is old comment but you literally describe my life! JakaAllah khairu for took a lot of your time to write to me Alhamdulilah. I want to marry out of love but my father is super stubborn, My parents were impatient to get me married off., He is honestly not in my heart at all, as my parents forced me, Forced to marry my first cousin, but I loved another man, http://www.zawaj.com/askbilqis/wp-login.php?action=register. This is not the way that a dynamic person is supposed to live life, though. I am in greatest trouble.. i guess. correction * he went back to uk i stay with my parents bqz without ruksati i cnt live with him accoring to our culture and rule. On the other scale, if you had a relationship before marriage that went beyond the bounds of Islamic ettiquette, then this can also poison a marriage because the husband might in his heart consider his wife to have been a "loose woman" for allowing any type of intimate contact, even though he was as guilty of it as you. Your marriage I guess is void of Allah's blessing, mercy, guidance and help and so therefore, I wouldn't rule out the possibility of ' blackmagic '. Try to do so in a calm way so that you let them know how they have upset you in the past. This is how this is done. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. We have been into a fight because of this too but honestly speaking his touch disgusts me. He still finds it "nuts" that the last of the Magdalene laundries closed in 1996, that it was illegal to buy condoms in Ireland until 1985, that . I feel so suffocated. I hurt deeply within me. wa tawallani feeman tawallayt This Happened When My Husband Stopped Talking To Me For A Week We are stronger to make it worse but my hubby never take my feelings so seriously. You will have to be a strong woman to deal with this issue head-on and not let it fester on for years. I will wait for respond from sheikhs in sha Allaah. Salam.Can you please help.I am Somewhat in the same situation n dont know what to do.. your not his property and he can't keep you in the marriage. The solution to your problem is simple but requires patience and energy from both of you, now in order to repair the foundations you became a couple on you need to re-visit the good times, take your husband to where you first met and talk about how special it was and how you felt so warm inside, and how he made you feel 'special' and 'beutiful' smile as you talk and make contact by touching his hand and then moving back. Life is not perfect, but it is wrong to withhold yourself (mentally, spiritually, or physically) from your spouse. I'm gonna be honest with you here Love and that is just something I don't believe in anymore.. The Status of a Job Acquired with False Certification. Marriage is a partnership, and you deserve to be married to a husband who will honor and respect you. 25 Signs Your Husband Doesn't Love You Anymore. I hardly think that she is doing it delibrately. Not even his care has changed me. But that doesn't mean you need to accept being lonely in your marriage! What to Do If You're Tired of Begging for Attention From Your Partner BarakAllahu fik wa as salam alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh! Also surah Yaseen and the last 10 verses of surah Al Baqarah. Pray the Prayer of Need and make du`a, for the One who sent this problem is the very One that can take it away. The only thing stopping me was the fact that I knew I couldn't leave Islamit's kind of impossible considering I still had to ask from Allahthere's nowhere else to go. Should I tell the prospective husband about this? but honestly i dont feel any love or affection for him. Must she ask for divorce or what must she do? When he is in good mood, he would shower me with so much of love but i am never able to reciprocate it as there are so many things that i carry in my heart that bothers me. I am not happy with this marriage. That is your job. This is the time to go on dates, go ice skating, or to the park, romantic walk at the beach, star gazing.. Get to know your husband. 10. But there should be kindness, mercy, honorable treatment, and affection from both sides. Ustadha Shazia Ahmad lived in Damascus, Syria, for two years, where she studied aqidah, fiqh, tajweed, Tafseer, and Arabic. Please register and submit your question as a separate post, and we will answer you in turn, Insha'Allah. She should be available for him sexually, as this is a great need for men and it affects their ability to work effectively if they are stressed due to a lack of marital intimacy. I feel so helpless. We are married for 4 years. If they're not, and you have moments when you feel unvalued, always remember that you are worthy of . Answer Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. "A", please register and submit your question as a separate post, and give us more details about the situation. Inshallah u are. My Husband Doesn't Love Me Anymore - 5 Things To Do To Change That This is the advice from a few Imams. Trust me he will soon want to be with you. He has a big issue. Sairah, please log in and write your question as a separate post, thanks. 2 days of "and the lord heard me - i have my answers" || nsppd || 6th july 2023 I think I'm heading to a divorse. It was a very hard situation and many times I had considered leaving Islam to get away. Thats what usually happens. Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder You are harming others, not helping! You really have to start to care again for your husband. 05 June, 2020 In this counseling answer: He has been clear that the problem is him and not you. The approach is critical. asalam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. That's your ticket to Jannah, so you have to keep it close. Iam in same situation..really dont know what to do he loves me alot..i cant foce my self to love him. Depression When you stop crying you will be more confident. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". why r u considering divorce already? You will have to be a strong woman to deal with this issue head-on and not let it fester on for years. -"Rabbi innee limaa anzalta ilayya min khayrin faqeer", [My lord, I am in absolute need of the good You send me], -"Rabbana aatina fi'd dunya hasana wa fi'l aakhirati hasana wa qina `adhab an-nar. He said he loves me but he do not to take me out etc . I wanted ti breakup cause I knew we wouldn't be able to make up. MuslimahAngel, If you are dealing with the same problem as you said, did you not benefit from the advice given? They react with sadness to a glad situation and gladness to a sad situation, as they are unable to adjust their mood to suit the occasion appropriately. I know this is wrong because Islam tells us to satisfy husbands needs and desires. With regards to addressing the root cause of the problem between you and your husband's parents or relatives, a really constructive idea can be simply to talk to them about it. Visit your parents if you miss them, but not overnight trips, just day trips. You say that your husband does not love you. To this day, he keeps on repeating the things he said and abuses him and me. I Don't Feel My Husband Loves Me | About Islam Stop begging him. Answer Orsolya Ilham O. He is egoistic and very abusive. I will do it, such a good idea. I got married 6 months back. One way to describe loving someone is valuing that person immeasurably, and two people in love value each other "equally immeasurably." In the best relationships, this reciprocal valuation lasts. Does divorce take place if a husband simply leaves his wife? How did you two come to be married? That's why I feel like as if he don't make me feel like I'm not good for him. People who suffer continuous stress can experience mood swings along with a feelingthat no one understands how hard theyre trying. I've been married for 14 years during first year of my marriage I had a lot of problems with my husband and my mother in law for honour sake I put up with a lot even though my mother in law doesn't like me at all accirding to my husband. we always had fight on namaz issue and i force him to practise ramzan but he always give me excuses like he cant make sehri etc. The absence of intimacy might be correctly or incorrectly seen as a personal failure to keep one's partner interested. Generally, hes a very religious man, offers his prayers and lots of dhikr. Mood Swings may be caused due to: ", [O Lord! The Prayer of Need (Salat al-Hajah) or Istikhara? Ive come to the point of frustration now. Mine is Worst and i stop everything i fight day The minute i decide to take stand for my feelings, he would start abusing and hitting me. Your are living in hell and your children will think this is normal to act abusive. Having sex only once a week is an ordinary (natural) matter, and it does not mean that one of the spouses is not happy with the other. If he swears by Allah that he is, then you can build from there. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of cookies. She should make an effort to dress nicely, look good, meet him with a pleasing smile, and make the home a place of comfort and rest for him. Things are much more positive these days Alhamdulillahto help other sisters, I do outreach now and even started an online magazine for Muslim women. Asalam Alaykium Wa Rahmatullah Wa Barakullah my sliblings in Islam, In sha Allah you all are well and in good health by Allahs grace. He yells and disrespects me often in front of his family. We will advise you in turn, Insha'Allah. We had up and downs in marriage like we all have I never let that effect the marriage but now it come to this where I don't think he's my husband no more he's still same hasn't changed I know he's a husband who would never protect me or stand by me for a fact. If he can be like that with your parents then this man will never change. Salamu alaikum, pls this is the first time I am posting here. This post is very old, but i have same issue right now with some addition like i came to know after my forced marriage that my husband have physical relation but he say that was before marriage. What does Islam say in such a situation? do not love my husband | About Islam I made isthikhara and my gut tells me it's the right choice. Can Someone Please Help Me Befor i kill myself . How funny after I posted thread then later on I started to feeling miss my hubby, its a good sign mashaallah. I have thought of job to get over my thought. On the other scale, if you had a relationship before marriage that went beyond the bounds of Islamic ettiquette, then this can also poison a marriage because the husband might in his heart consider his wife to have been a "loose woman" for allowing any type of intimate contact, even though he was as guilty of it as you. Love UNCONDITIONALLY. It was arrange marriage and we marry on oct. 2016 its no soo long aftr marriage we spend only 10 days together and after three month i came my in laws home and i still cant liking him he knows that i hate him we still not in physical relationship bcz i unable to allow myself for this.. he knows that i dont want to marry him before marrage bt our family and specially my mother force me and him for the marrage he loves me bt i am unable to loving him i try bt atlast i strting hating him more now the end he want me to divorce him bcz he cant bcz of the pressure that will give by the relatives and my parents.. what i can do pleaase give me the suggestion i am unable yaa allah plzzzz help me. my parents never support me and i born in metro city and he live in village our mentality thinking is very different, What i do plzzz help me my heart dont wants him bt my relative and parents pressurize me. I dont think he likes seeing me happy. In sha Allah everything will be alright for you ? . Substance Abuse Some women become high strung, emotional alternating between weepy and happy states of mind. Salam sister.. sisters.. Well, this is Kind of hard. What should i do?? Now you have the duty to try to fix the problem. Nothing works. I want to stay close to my parents bcos I miss them. Women experience extreme mood swings during menopause. As we both lacked love and being this the reason things started getting worse. I have same problem, I agreed to marry for the happiness of my parents but deep down I always knew this guy is not good but he was a Hafiz and good at talking. The key to succesful relationships is love, and love is a bond that is impossible to break unless it is broken by infidelities or such things, however love can be lost and this for most people is mistaken for the end of the road in the relationship, but one must remember marriage is a journey of highs and lows and one cannot leave at the first sight of trouble, instead one must embrace the challenge and reach highs once more. Home Shafi'i Fiqh Seekersguidance.org My husband wont be intimate with me. As such, a womans self-esteem goes down as her reproductive years end, adding to her erratic mood swings.
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